Tuesday, September 8, 2009

That Went Well...

Actually it didn't. At least for me anyways. Praying my son is doing well. He's been there a couple hours now and I'm sure he's fine. Started MY school routine, went to bed at a reasonable time so I could get enough shut eye, but ended up waking up at 4 this morning. Took me 2 hours to get back to sleep which left me with an hour to sleep. But that's ok, it gave me a chance to pray for this day and read a little. Things went fairly smoothly for the two of us this morning and I was able to drop him off at a reasonable time.

But that's when it all went south. I had asked him a few weeks ago if he had wanted me to come into the school with him and he politely told me that that was ok. He could do it himself. I'm ok with that, honestly. The route he's dropped off has changed, a bit more complicated and can be busier than before, but I would've gone in with him anyways. So, as we're driving I start to tear up, I can feel myself start to lose it so I bite my lip. Didn't work that time, I just thought I'd wing it and maybe I would stop once I started praying. That didn't happen. TOTALLY lost it, and as I'm looking in my rear view mirror I can see him looking at me with this expression like "What is going on?" I told him I was ok, just so proud of him and sad that he was growing up so fast. Thankfully I was able to get that under control and finish my prayer.

We pulled into the school parking lot and saw that it wasn't as busy as we thought, I was able to pull up to the curb and that's when I lost it again. I told him "I'm ok bud, I'm ok. I love you and I'll see you after school." Poor guy was about to cry but get that under control better than me. I saw him walk up the steps and I thought he didn't know where to go, but I saw him walking with someone he must know, so that put my mind at ease.

I really thought it would get easier with each school year. And granted, as I'm sitting here typing this I'm alright. It's just me having to let him go again. He isn't just down the hall from me like church, and I'm ok with that. I'm excited to see how his day went, but I'm happy for the break.


Colleen said...

Glad to hear you made it through! Stay strong!

Jen said...

Thank you! Today was a better day :)